You see, there is always something about your holiday that you hate. It might be the loud person in the hotel room next to you or the flight that was delayed for six hours. I was waiting for whatever it was that would push my buttons and it came to me in the form of The Goreme Open Air museum. The simplest way to describe it to you is as follows.
Cave Churches – The Guidebook Definition
Goreme open air museum is a place where history comes alive. Visit the ten beautiful and historically important cave churches that are the most fantastic sight to see in Cappadocia. Goreme Open Air Museum is a member of UNESCO World Heritage List and is admired by thousands of visitors from all around the world. One of the most photographed destinations in Cappadocia.
My Definition
Goreme Open air museum is 13 cave churches that all look the same. Throw in the Cappadocia tour guide that screams at you, the overpriced entrance fee, the vile coffee, the mile long toilet queue, seven coaches of selfish tourists and it will certainly be a day that you will remember for the rest of your life.
Did the guidebook lie to me or was it the snowball effect in action?
When I look back on the day, I suppose I could contribute my lack of enthusiasm towards the snow ball effect. If you have not heard about the snowball effect, it is when a succession of things go wrong one after the other. The result is that you blow your top and head for the nearest bar to drown your sorrows. So, my snowball effect experience went as follows.
1 - Having read the Cappadocia guidebook, I spent ages trying to persuade my husband to visit the “must see” Goreme Open Air Museum. The problem is, he is not really into sightseeing or cave churches If there had been nightclubs in Goreme, then I am quite sure that all our spending money would have gone into buying shares of their business. Half an hour later, I had managed to drag him up the steep hill to the entrance of the Goreme Open Air museum. (When I say steep, I mean very steep)
2 - On discovering that the entrance fee was 15tl for each person, I then had to listen to my husband moaning about how he would be a rich man if he had not married me. That is the other thing about my husband, he doesn’t like paying for things that he does not want to do. Well to be fair, who does? So a total cost of 30tl ($20) to enter and ten minutes of repetitive moaning about his bank balance.
3 -I put this behind me and entered the first cave church. I was admiring the antique paintings and a tour guide walked in with his small group. From experience, I have learned that most tour guides in Turkey suffer from the god complex i.e., the whole tourism industry is going to collapse without them. So I always make a point of ignoring them and leaving them to their group. I got the camera out of my bag and started taking photos.
This prompted the tour guide to practice his god complex on me. “No photos, no photos” he repeated in a panic. It turned out that you were not allowed to take photos inside the cave because the flash on cameras was ruining the ancient paintings on the walls. Well, if they made this known on signs, then I would have obeyed it. I sneaked out of the cave with my head bowed in shame and amongst a sound of repeated tuting and rude looks from his loyal group that was following him.
4 - So I soon realized that when you have seen the first cave church, you must as well go to the exit of the open air museum because all the cave churches look the same. I decided instead, to make the most of it and practice my new found hobby of photography. This is the other thing you must know about Goreme Open air museum. If you want family photos, know that every Tom, Dick and Harry will appear in them as well.
If someone was taking photos, I stopped and waited instead of walking in front of the camera. When it turned out that I was the only one with this philosophy, I decided that if you cannot beat them, join them. My face will appear in random stranger’s photo albums across the globe.
5 - Did I mention that the guide at the entrance also said that in the height of season they receive up to 2000 visitors a day? Bear this in mind, when I tell you that there is only one toilet! 35 minutes later, when I was seriously considering peeing into an empty water bottle, I managed to make it into the one and only cubicle, which at that point seemed like paradise even though it had run out of toilet paper.
6 - I returned to my husband who was waiting outside for me with a cold cup of vile coffee and a smug look on his face that said “I told you so…” Just to get back at him, I made him buy me a book on Goreme Open Air museum that I didn’t really want and to this day have still not read.
So, I don’t know whether the guide book lied to me or it was the snowball effect that left me with a poor impression of the Goreme Open Air museum. However I am glad I went because I can at least say that I have been there and done it.
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